i need to become silent and absorb the immensity
of this new universe that i see before me
i need to become silent to absorb and understand
the immensity of the implications
i need time to settle and allow all this to filter in

but i cannot sit any more…i feel like dancing
spreading this explosive joy of finding
to the sannyasins…to my friends whom i love

this reaching in just ninety days
would spark a revolution…a fire in them
i was walking amongst them daily…just a common man
i would be source and inspiration that they too could reach
that they too could soon drown into this orgasmic ecstasy

my heart reached out to them…they all deserved this
each and every human being deserved this

i walk with a new grace gliding through the gateless gate
celebrating masters day…i want to join their celebration
to celebrate bhagwan with them

buddham sharanam gachchhami
                            sangham sharanam gachchhami
                                                          dhammam sharanam gachchham

they are all in chuang tzu hall…i enter lao tzu gate…with immense joy
i feel that i am now part of this sacred space where bhagwan lives
it is drizzling with rain…the air magical…flooded with a renewed energy
i softly enter the celebrations in chuang tzu
i dance and dance to the kirtans and songs of bhagwan fill the air

lao tzu…paradise on earth…this very place the lotus paradise

i wish that i could one day have a temple bedroom just like this
a huge circular space with gardens all around
i am drowned in ecstasy

i can see many eyes piercing me
sannyasins feel some new presence around me
they seem angry that i am dancing with such freedom
they have never seen me dance before
just serious and always walking slowly
looking in front at my footsteps
i cannot understand their anger
they whisper and shrink afraid to come near me

i was always a stranger
that they had slowly got used to and tolerated me
by laughing and making jokes about my walking slowly

but now i was far more a stranger…this was something new
they dropped their laughing
the jokes did not fit into this new space i was carrying
now it turned into a taunt that i have become enlightened

i have not uttered even one single word
i was totally blissed out and speechless
but my very presence…my every gesture
my floating walk…the fragrance around
everything reminded them of bhagwan
they all started to whisper that i think that i am enlightened
that i am pretending to be bhagwan

i was amazed…had they somehow all become mind readers
that they could now read my mind
and decide for themselves what i was thinking
and then say that this was what i was thinking

i realised this was just the beginning of more ugliness ahead
this was the real world that i was entering into

the world of spiritual egos…power trips
competition…judgement…jealousy…crucifixion

no one even bothered to come close to me
close their eyes…ask me what had happened
just being human…as a fellow traveller
they had all decided for themselves
judge…jury…guilty without trial… punishment
and announce their judgement to all

great seekers of truth

they would not leave me alone
suddenly everyone became my master
continuously coming to tell me about my ego
my sickness…and the cure…to drop my ego
all without my asking

nor my permission to be examined by their measuring tape
i was beginning to see masters all around me