i know how to keep a secret
i have said then and i repeat…i was to be a mahakashyap

and sadly soon i hear bhagwan say a few months later
that few months ago in bombay that govind siddharth had a vision
of gautam buddhas soul searching for a body
he saw in his vision bhagwans had become a vehicle for gautam buddha
and he was right…but it is the misfortune of man
that one could go wrong even though one had touched a point of rightness
because bhagwan had declared him enlightened he had disappeared
and since then was not seen again
perhaps he thought…what is the use now
i was searching for enlightenment and i have found it
bhagwan says enlightment is only the beginning and not the end
that he had come very close and has now gone very far away

i had come to hear that govind siddharth had become a master
soon his ego was to create even deeper pitfalls
and utterly destroyed even his simple disciplehood

what a sad calamity i saw in this
a day of immense pain…a pity…he deserved more

i did not ever want to fall into this trap
i would have to kill myself…take rebirth if it happened to me

the first experience of enlightenment
allows the initial opening of these multidimensional layers
that these layers for the first time become available
that one needs to dive deeper into each layer
and absorb each of its dimensions

that it would take five or six such explosions
or samadhi states to absorb and dissolve layer by layer
and gradually complete the entire journey
dissolving into it

i just drowned deeper and deeper
my daily activities continued to find deep changes
my physical movements and simple day to day actions
were becoming more graceful
i stopped doing meditations…meditativeness became my life
a relaxed watchful awareness took over my every footstep
my every gesture my every look my way of standing my way
of sitting washing the dishes taking a bath brushing my teeth
zen is a living experience…a way of living meditatively

there is no such thing as meditation for me
only meditativeness exists

i poured all my awareness into these simple daily activities
and slept as much as possible…in a pitch black room

i knew i was awaiting the black hole again
to become familiar with the blackness of the night
i became a night watcher

my walking in zen and sitting in zen
started to illuminate all around me

now i had passed through the door of secrets with bhagwan
bhagwan astrally visits me more and more often
i begin to learn of his ways of secret transmission
his silent and secret methods of working

i was to allow him as much access to my physical body
create situations comfortable for him to enter and work on me

there was another secret i was growing and falling into
this was in the way i walked

my past life vipassana channels and pathways were open
these vertical channels easily accessible by any living master
hence gautam buddha had found me to be
a suitable match as his vehicle

bhagwan always walked in a certain way
his kundalini waved and moved at far greater height than mine
was far vaster and wider and taller and deeper

bhagwan could easily accelerate my growth
if i was to fall in tune with his vertical alignment
so i began walking into deeper waters
hand in hand with him
step by step…vertical wave by vertical wave
i was slowly merging into his channels
revealing to me heights upon heights
i was carrying his divine flame…he was dancing with me

tears fall short to express these divine moments

the functioning of the mystery school was open for me
i became part of his secret mystery school
 

                                                                                                     haiku rajneesh 1986

the sky showering
              diamonds
                             see !!
sky showering
                                diamonds upon you !

rainfall yesterday
                            showering gratitude
                                             in silence
it rained yesterday

silence
teardrops of silence
in gratitude
diamonds it rained yesterday

rained yesterday
you see ?
                            upon you diamonds
                                              a rainfall yesterday !!

fragrance arising
                            silences deeper
                                                disappear !!

eagle soaring horizon
sky within
                           flowers blossoming

on floating footsteps
a gentle smile
                           rose in hand !!
                                      ….dissolved
                                just a rose
    arising fragrance !!

                                                                                            haiku rajneesh 1986

i shall be the first person in the world to declare
and to reveal the true meaning of bhagwans statement

that he has gone beyond enlightenment

this is a revolutionary statement
the very first time bhagwan uttered such an unusual declaration

people took it for its poetic value
no such poetic licence for bhagwan
it was a factual declaration
an actual event that took place

bhagwan the greatest gambler…playing with his life
always walking on the razors edge high in the sky
has decided to go a step further
where no living buddha had ever gone to before

no buddha had transferred his astral body
to his disciple while living in the body

to transfer his astral body
his physical body was to remain unprotected…vulnerable
his body was already very sensitive and fragile
this transfer was extremely radical and very dangerous

i understood it at once
i began to carry him with utmost care and consciousness

these experiences are so vast that i cannot contain them in a single book
they are my greatest living experiences with him
and they have grown into deeper and vaster realms of consciousness

i remained unmoving and did not go to see him again in bombay
i was moving secretly into his new dimensions
not to risk my body in movement or travel
i was to remain in silence in poona

i knew he was preparing to move to poona
and so it happened

4 january 1987 bhagwan arrives at the poona ashram