i dislike threats and more so from ones who are meant to be on the path
from a proclaimed disciple of bhagwan
whom i know to be the greatest buddha who ever walked the earth

can you imagine the two worlds i was seeing simultaneously
horrific…if this word fits the description

i had already read the book years of awakening of j krishnamurti
but without deeply considering his approach

i now became interested in reading more on j krishnamurti and his life
and why there was a conflict between his ideas on masters
a whole new chapter opened which i had previously ignored

i was completely with bhagwan
nothing would ever shake my love for him
i just began to question his completely open approach

i wanted to understand more deeply
the dynamics of master versus no master
and how complicated it is to transmit truth to an unconscious humanity

i knew that bhagwan had no choice
he already understood all the repercussions of spreading the truth
he himself was a target

but i needed to understand the complex situation of
an individual versus the crowd in a commune situation with a living master

i knew bhagwan was closely watching my growth and wanted me
to study all the implications and absorb more into my understanding

until now i was doting on him like a child
i needed more understanding with a calm balanced vision in front of me

i began to appreciate j krishnamurti more and more
his absolutely keen sense of observation and his clinical approach

bhagwan always said that we were part of the world
that his commune was just an experiment
he had never stated that his people had become enlightened
they were as unconscious as the rest of the world

the rest of the world where ignorance is bliss
here where bliss is not in ignorance

the world and its ways are simple and easy to deal with
just daily activities and living on the surface

here one was vulnerable experimenting with psychic energies
with complex inner mechanisms of the unexplored mind and no mind
where high voltage energy situations demanded
experience and careful growth and guidance
where great awareness was needed the higher one went
where one had to be extremely careful of ones actions

we were playing with fire…invisible threads of vertical fire

sannyasins were not enlightened…that i now understood
but my new questions were on why they were not enlightened
was it possible that the ones who could reach would be destroyed

my focal point of this enquiry
which became the most burning question
and an equation which i needed to understand

for this was exactly what j krishnamurti fought against
stating that the crowd always destroyed the individual
that all organisations cripple and ultimately destroy the individual

it was clear that krishnamurti was remarkably sharp
and had complete vision in this particular matter and was totally correct

whereas bhagwan with his open free vision gambles
that the buddhafield would take care of these matters

bhagwan was also watching these new developments
he was deeply saddened and began to see that his people were failing him

i was his living experiment…i was walking with him floating over me
he was testing his own people against my mirror

this was the reality

i am declaring it for all to read and know
that bhagwan was watching how you behaved with a buddha
his buddha carrying his flame
carrying bhagwan himself

whatever i am stating here is to help you walk the path