i do not wish to scare but have been witness to these effects
it was going to happen…the very worst was to happen

banned and staying in sunderban
the hotel fence just a few metres behind budda hall podium
and as bhagwan was speaking in chuang tzu every evening
his discourses were transmitted live into buddha hall
and were clearly audible from my sittings behind the fence
i sat every night to hear his discourses

i was eating my dinner at prems restaurant and as i walked very slowly
i made it a point to get up just before discourse ended and slowly
head towards prems not to get entangled in the rush after discourse

the night it happened
as usual i was on my way when i was stopped by an indian sannyasin
he insisted that he would take me by motorbike and to hop on
i hate bikes as they are uncomfortable to sit on in a robe
and i loved to take my slow walk after discourse
he insisted again and again and i gave in
he took me there and he got off his bike on the street
without any warning suddenly hit me with an extremely violent force
on my face and continued to punch me on the ground

this sudden violent attack on my right jaw completely turned my neck
with a cracking sound in my skull and neck vertebrae
i flew diagonally backwards onto the ground and to save my fall
landed on my left hand and heard a sound deep in my left shoulder
my collar bone went into my neck and i felt my left shoulder blade had crushed into my spine and was dislocated
my lungs were compressed and breathing was very painful
he kicked my face and body asking me if i had learnt my lesson
got on his bike and went away

i had blacked out and saw everything reel and spin around
i lay on the ground unable to get up

suddenly i felt a great force just pick me up
and i was standing without any effort on my part
i know who has picked up my body
but this attack was to have huge implications and repercussions

i went back to the hotel and got to hear that bhagwan had
inexplicably fallen sideways when standing from his chair after discourse
and had stopped speaking

it was sudden but i knew that dangers lay ahead for bhagwan
and for me it was over
i would not live long if this situation deteriorated further

i stayed on in the sunderban for another two months to recover
but began to realise that both bhagwan and i were in a gridlock
complexities upon complexities

i have revealed that bhagwan had already gone beyond enlightenment

the implications were deathly for him
locked and entwined into an astral body and twisted together

the attack created many new complex spiritual and psychic situations
i knew both my physical and astral bodies had been severely damaged

there was huge physical damage in my left side
which turned and twisted my astral body
the vertical alignment had been twisted into a corkscrew
locked into a gridlock
which blocked the ida and the pingala channels
and the sushumna flow to my crown
the cosmic body had shifted its centre to the right
to adjust to the dislocation and imbalance

my ida was damaged
and this gradually began to affect the pingala
which in turn slowly closed the sushumna opening

my body started to adversely adjust to these new situations
the cooling side closed down
the body started to heat up continuously
the cool vapour that was constantly rising inside stopped
my breathing became irregular

my left pulse weak and irregular stopping again and again
and i feel my heart pinching each time it stops
the right pulse is stronger and faster

my left eye dried up constantly and itched
and the right eye became red and always tearing

my left ear began to hear loud and shrill sounds
and i was losing my sense of balance
my right ear felt blocked with loss of hearing

i reeled into blackouts when turning to the left

slowly my third eye began to shut down
with throbbing pain in my right brain

i lost the experience of the vertical column