there was still hope
i had already reached the point of enlightenment eight months ago
had seen and known the points of entry and exit of my body

bhagwan began a new phase of his emergency work on me

my left channel was closed which blocked the descent
spiral entry back into the body
i was to remain absolutely still and dive into the death centre
and in each dive into the hara…the body sensing death
would immediately implode and try to re enter through the third eye

if i continued on this path…it would take a long time
but reverse healing and entry back into the body was possible

bhagwan is a warrior
i am a fighter

life is a risk
i never cry about what happened in the past
it has happened and cannot be reversed
in adversity i fight back
this is my nature
i cannot change it

together anything was possible
just patience and deep healing work…the block could be lifted
the huge boulder upon my kundalini pushed out of the way
and the passage would be freed again

with this damaging physical and psychic accident
a ball of light suddenly descended over me one night
i had now grown to respect appreciate and deeply love j krishnamurti
his compassionate being glowed above me
and for the first time he revealed himself
he was one of the three beings floating above me
in the july gautama the buddha descent
he was to become my guide and also compassionately to help me now

reading the above sounds absolutely mad and insane

whatever i am stating is for the seeker on the path
i can risk my reputation for these revelations
i have paid a heavier price
and do not want such accidents to ever happen again

that in the past seekers diving into these realms of experiences
left the world into the mountains to complete their journey undisturbed
and for the safety of their fragile physical condition
after enlightenment
the body and astral and cosmic alignments are only fragile threads of light
and the body becomes weaker and weaker as the
grip of the bodymind loses over the grip of the no mind hovering above

the physical plane lets go for the astral
the astral lets go for the cosmic
and ultimate dissolution into the infinite void of the cosmic

one has to die to live

i was visited by several masters all helping me in any way they could
one such visit surprised me the most
as i had no personal connection nor would ever have dreamt

that his grace the compassionate shirdi baba would come to bless me
i remain his devotee and humbly bow to him
jai divine shree shirdi baba

the nights saw huge sweatings and sleeplessness
tossing and turning left to right and left to right
sometimes a complete turnaround in violent seizures

the kundalini was trying to open the doors
the body adjusting step by step

the deepest method was to die as deeply as possible
and go deeply into the back hole to heal

whenever the body goes into death
the door to the third eye opens
to protect and bring the body to sudden shock and awakening
to keep the body alive

the death centre works as a door outward
the third eye is a door inwards
the third eye muscle relaxes and opens from within
and allows the entry backwards to complete the circle

death is the ultimate healer
this is always the last resort to open the ida channel
and i already knew this secret

two months of deep healing was in progress
and working slowly it could take a year
my cosmic body sphere embryo was also growing larger
soon the opening would take place

i was working both ways
from the body upwards to the astral
and the cosmic downwards through the astral

bhagwan was amazed at my determination and admired my guts and focus
this was enough gift for me
the hit had challenged me and my master was celebrating my strength
this was more than enlightenment

it was my victory in defeat too

either way i was victorious
had i lost and died
bhagwan would give me my send off
knowing a warrior had perished fighting