the world below living in its darkness cannot understand
why the sky is shining so bright

perhaps this is all a pretence
just the flashing of an unreal diamond
pretending to be brighter than the real

who can tell you of what i have seen
i cannot speak anymore
it is beyond the beyond the beyond

i am the dance lost high into the sky
in deep latihan
perhaps 2 hours have passed…perhaps more

infinity stretches the hollow bamboos into the night

buddha grove one with every move
one with every sway…with every stop
the bamboos wave into the night
who am i they say
who am i…who am i

and suddenly a cracking sound on my head
my body flying into the bamboos
i have been beaten again

no body no mind
no one to pick me
nor to drop me ever again

black black black…eternal black

losing was perhaps the only way out of this unbearable joy

i have seen the very best…bhagwan
lived with the very best…bhagwan

am completely ready for the onward journey
with nowhere to go…nothing to do
being herenow

existence has its timing says bhagwan jokingly
my time had not yet come
not that easy
there is more…there is more…there is more

wake up lazarus…i say get up and walk

i am lifted with a force and walk
i am alive and back again
the tunnel was so very deep

perhaps a few more days before i fall again
existence has its own arrangements for the dying
one cannot dictate terms

i return to my room…in utter darkness
in know my time has come to go

i wish to give away all my belonging to friends who will remember me
i make a list of all the statues and beautiful books i possess
and prepare a gift for each friend
someone had smiled and was kind to me
someone helped me along the way
someone came to my support when pushed around
small gestures that had touched my heart
i remembered each one

one by one
i go to the ashram
and gave each one my remembrance gift
to each of their surprise

giving was such a joy and unburdening
their surprise and love was my receiving