past present future…all vertically present
high into the sky deep into the earth
this eternal present moment

no seeking…no searching…no learning…no doing…no thing at all

the pathless path
does not need or require even a single step
one is already home

i understand how it feels to be in a madhouse
surrounded by sane people
no bridge whatsoever…totally different planes of understanding

the whole world on one side…me alone on the another shore

where do i begin…what can i do…where can i go…i am in a madhouse

just give up and stop trying to make sense of it all
enjoy this utter non sense
enjoy this mystery and deep aloneness

the only sanity to become an ordinary man again
an extraordinary ordinary man
i need to reorient myself…new wings have to be grown

i move in my daily meditativeness

i am drinking my evening tea near krishna house
restaurant tables are spread out there
just simply drinking tea alone in silence

out of the blue…a german sannyasin rushes towards me
and without a word or warning smashes my face with his fist

i feel a warm liquid flow down from my eyebrow
flooding my eyes in blood
again the same boring attack
just another civilized human being
expressing his love and meditativeness

others look on in disgust surprised at this sudden unprovoked hit

i ask him how many years have you been a sannyasin
to which he says twelve years
great i say…this is what you have achieved
just go in and look at yourself carefully
great sannyasin

i get up to look at my face in the mirror next to the wash basin in front
a huge bleeding gash below my eyebrow
blood running profusely down my face
someone helps me towards krishna house office
to get some medical attention
leaving me in the office

i am asked to sit inside the office to keep attention away
and enter to see doctor amrito and jayesh

i look at amrito and say that i have been badly cut on my eyebrow
please kindly look at it and arrange for stitches if needed

immediately he starts his stiff lecture
i do not want to look at your face
this is not my problem
that i needed to learn a lesson
you deserve this hit
you push peoples buttons
that people like me should be banned

jayesh is an elegant human being…surprised at amritos behaviour
he gently asks amrito to attend to me

i was hit…assaulted within the ashram…right in front of them
witnesses all knew i was alone and silently drinking my tea
i had never met this person before

amrito refuses to stitch the cut…and walks out in a huff
i call him back and say in front of jayesh
i promise that you will remember this day
you are a medical doctor sworn to attend to any injury
that you are the ashram doctor
i promise this will be remembered

i am made to lie down on the sofa
with an ice pack…the bleeding takes an hour to clot
i go to budhrani hospital that night to get stitches

i have forgiven but not forgotten
my promise…i always keep my promise

amrito is starved of love and just needs pampering

so i have decided today
to send him a box of pampers
all he needs is basic potty training
being anally retentive…the shit comes out of the wrong end

now this is pushing your buttons…capisci
just keep cool and have a sense of humour

it is strange logic that amrito wants me…the victim…banned
and the person who attacks me goes scot free