he immediately sent a tempo to collect the fridge
and arranged a one way air ticket to poona for the next day
my servant objected to the tempo…i had to go home and bribe him
to remain quite and not tell my aunt i had sold the fridge

i went again to connaught place bought some orange cloth and had the tailor
stitch my first orange robe while i patiently waited for two hours
my spiritual life had begun
the whole night i poured over the dozen or so sannyas magazines
my head suddenly shooting into pain and my stomach bursting
up and down like a yo yo
something was trying to balance the pressure which built up
and settled inside me continuously throughout the night

the next morning i was floating with joy elated i would soon be in poona
the sky became cloudy…the rain came down
the sun shone through the clouds…wow what a dream
i was sitting in a taxi with enough money in my pocket
on my way to heaven

poona february 1981 i arrive in heaven
wearing my orange robe immediately go to the ashram
it is evening…i manage to walk onto the ashram road…wow
seeing so many absolutely stunning and beautiful sannyasins with so much
joy and celebration written all over their faces…all over the streets
i felt such an upsurge of energy and wanted to be part of this for the rest
of my life…my stomach pain suddenly becomes settled and my head pain
disappears as if by magic…what is left in its place is a sweet taste in the
mouth of pure intoxication and a warm and honey like flow all over my body
my nostrils fragrant with jasmine…i am floating over the ground
in an expansion that i never knew before

it is too late for visitors
so i walk around outside the ashram just looking at the sannyasins
spending the entire evening and night walking the streets
every street corner is filled with people dancing and playing on their guitars
in many places a cassette of his discourse plays
his divine voice speaking softly and sannyasins sitting drinking and
drowning into his each and every word like nectar
deeply listening to the hiss in his words

my god…i wish i could bring the whole world to his feet
i dream that this is just the start
and i imagine that bhagwan will actually transform the entire world

if they will only come here and listen to his magical voice and feel and
drink this divine bliss that is pervading the entire space all around
the air is thick with a fluid…flowing like divine bliss…this is simply paradise
these people are the most blessed on this earth

i look in amazement at sannyasins who have been around bhagwan
i only wish i had arrived here a few years earlier
what a blessing for them to sit at his feet
why was i not born earlier…i should have been here sooner

i am in love with everyone i see…i love them for being here and feel
connected to each and every face i see
i am in love for the very first time

i cannot sleep all night
have found the only simple and cheap guest house nearby
just a mattress with a mosquito net in an open corridor of a guest house
many people sleeping in tiny rooms
there is no other place as all is full and i do not have much money
just enough to be here for around ten days or so and take my sannyas
i must make the little money i have last for a month if possible
i must get sannyas from bhagwan first
see his eyes…get near and close to him immediately
bow and touch his feet

i simply cannot sleep…the air is so full of aliveness
this is a whole new universe and so much to absorb
i am bombarded by the newness in every direction
it is coming from everywhere and surrounding me like a magical mist
i am breathless…how do these people manage to breathe near him
i am simply in a state of happiness shock